Please Help

As you can imagine, international adoption is plagued with politics. I have intentionally avoided this topic on the blog as it can be very depressing and complicated and my objective was to stay focused on the joy of our journey. Well, I should have known this topic was unavoidable and now it has become extremely urgent. This week, the president of Guatemala announced that any adoptions not approved by 12/31/07 will not be processed under the current system and possibly even stopped. Now, this could change because this action is unconstitutional and violates the Hague Convention. However, it does not mean that he won't try and it could cause significant delays or even a temporary shutdown. Our agency anticipates that the start date of any new legislation will be pushed back to spring. But, there is no guarantee. The situation in Guatemala has been very unstable for a few months now, but we have been given reassurance all along by both the US and Guatemalan Governments that any adoption in process before any changes in law/procedures would be grandfathered in under the old laws. The US Department of State issued an announcement this week as well and basically said to all of us adopting parents "sorry about your luck, but you are on your own with this one." So, these announcements have created a huge panic in the adoption world and in our house as well. The situation is very complicated and I cannot go into all of it now, but it is a very critical time for our voices to be heard on the matter. You can read more about the situation on many of my blogger friend's sites listed on the right hand side and on the following sites:

http://www.guatadopt.com/

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country_389.html

http://www.sunflowersandladybugs.com/blog.asp?ID=545

The MOST important thing you can do right now is to sign the following petition urging the US to support legislation in Guatemala that protects the future of Guatemalan children. It takes a few minutes of your time and there are thousands of Guatemalan children at risk. Thank you for supporting all of us in this process.

http://www.petitiononline.com/foafoa1/petition.html

8 Years Ago Today....

Jason and I were married in the mountains of Western North Carolina. I can't believe it's been 8 years already!! Happy Anniversary to us!

I have a secret......

...a Secret Blog Pal, that is. What?? Who knew such a thing existed??!! Not me!! Being an amateur blogger, I had no idea what this vast blogger world had to offer! So, what is a Secret Blogger Pal, you ask? Well, it is sort of like a Secret Santa or pen pal amongst the adoption blogger community. The idea behind Secret Blogger Pals is to provide support and encouragement to one another as we venture through this crazy adoption journey together.

So...I hate to brag, but....I have the BEST secret blogger pal EVER!!! She has been spoiling me (actually Eli) with wonderful gifts and, most importantly, has provided so much support and encouragement. She is just wonderful and very special.

B - Your thoughtfulness, support, and heartfelt messages have touched me deeply. Thank you!!


This is the first gift Eli received from my Secret Blog Pal. It is a wonderful book on being a kid and has photos of children from all over the world. No matter what the culture or the language, the climate or the customs, kids will be kids. And to be a kid means...getting kisses, having fun, and making friends that last forever and ever.

The second gift is this beautiful CD of lullabies from around the world.

The third gift arrived on a day that I needed a reminder to stay optimistic. How perfect! This is a little t-shirt for Eli. I can't wait to put it on him!

This latest gift is another wonderful book reflecting some of the things we value the most. Every day all over the world, children are laughing and crying, playing and learning, eating and sleeping. They may not look the same. They may not speak the same language. And their lives may be quite different. But inside, they are just like you.

Back on the Wagon

Well, we were very sad last night. We cried, drowned our sorrows in margaritas, and moped about the house a little bit. I have a feeling that their will be many margaritas in the coming months. :) *Jen - We predicted we would need lots of liquid courage!* But, we are back on the wagon! Granted, the wagon is not moving right now, but...we are hopeful that this birth certificate thing will be fixed quickly. This journey has been incredibly wonderful and amazing, but it is HARD!! We knew in our heads it would be hard, but no one could have prepared our hearts for this roller coaster ride. But, Eli is worth this wait and we are in this until the end. He will come home.

So, my "quote of the week" arrived in my inbox today and it was just what I needed right now.

You need only choose... then keep choosing as many times as necessary.

That is all you need do. And it is certainly something you can do.

Then as you continue to choose, everything is yours.

-Vernon Howard

Last night I needed to be sad and somehow figure out how to process the possibility that Eli may not come home until spring. It's so difficult knowing there is nothing we can do to fix this and bring Eli home. It is easy to feel helpless. But, I do have some choices. Today I am choosing to be hopeful and choosing to trust that the universe's timing is perfect. I may not understand why and it may not feel fair that we may have to wait longer for our son to come home, but I need to trust that there is a greater purpose for this timing.

As for tomorrow, I don't know what I will choose.....perhaps more margaritas!!

Bump in the road

Well, it's a very sad night in the Shank household. We received news today that there is a mistake on Eli's birth certificate and it will take 2-3 months to make the correction. Our attorney discovered the error before submitting us to PGN. It's great that he caught it before the reviewers, but.......we are so heartbroken with this news. We were hoping to be OUT of PGN in 2-3 months. So, I wasn't kidding when I said Guatemalan adoptions are unpredictable! All we can do at this point is hope that it gets fixed quickly and that we catch a break once we are finally submitted to PGN.

On a lighter note, our Signature HomeStyles party was a HUGE success!! We don't have the final amount that will be donated to our adoption fund, but it is at least $600!! So, despite some bad news today, we have much to be thankful for.

Where to begin??? HELP!!

So, I guess we need to register for our baby shower soon, at least that's what everyone is telling us. You would think I would be excited about this, but today it feels like a daunting task. Adoption is hard and, right now, it is very hard. Registering for gifts just feels so trivial when I am just aching for Eli to come home. Now, don't get me wrong, I certainly like to do my share of shopping and I have quickly discovered the fun of shopping for a child, my child. Just right now, all I care about is him coming home. The rest is just stuff.

Even so, I realize we do need at least a few things. :) With this in mind, we need some help with this baby registry thing. Where is the best place to register (online and physical store)? Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of options in our area. At least we don't have many options that we like. So, please, please give us some suggestions of fun baby stores, at least do it for Eli's sake! Otherwise, he may come home to a cardboard box for a crib. Ha! Actually, we have the crib part taken care of thanks to Jason's sister, but that is about it. So, please give us suggestions!!

Update

We received a wonderful update today: We have approval from Family Court as of 9/6. Yea!! We are so happy and relieved. We are officially ready to enter the final review phase: PGN. Many adopting parents claim that PGN is the hardest phase because there is no predictable timeline. PGN goes by many names that I probably could be censored for writing :), but it is most respectfully compared to the Attorney General's office. Once we are submitted to PGN, our file is randomly assigned to a reviewer who is responsible for making sure our file meets all of the requirements of Guatemalan Law. Seems pretty simple and straighforward, eh? Well, you would think so, but....it all depends on who reviews the file and how he/she interprets the law. Some families have been approved by PGN within 5 days while other families are stuck in PGN for months with no end in sight. The "average" timeline (and I use average very loosely) is 8-12 weeks. We hope to be submitted very soon. We are trying to stay very positive and send good "APPROVAL" vibes to the PGN gods and goddesses. The wait is getting very difficult and we miss our little pea terribly!! WE WANT HIM HOME!!!

Pre-approval, but not without a catch!

We finally received pre-approval from the US Embassy!! Woohoo!! This is a huge step required for our adoption to move to the final approval stage. We actually received approval on Sunday, but the embassy screwed up my e-mail address and we never received the notice. Our adoption coordinator caught it (she rocks!!) and called us today to give us the good news. She forwarded the notice and, as I was reading this coveted document, I noticed that Eli's birth name is wrong! Good grief!! So, I had to call our coordinator back and let her know. Hopefully it can be remedied fast!!

Fundraiser

We are having another fundraiser for our adoption fund. As I mentioned in a previous post, we met a woman at our garage sale who is a consultant for Signature HomeStyles. She generously offered to donate all of her proceeds if I hosted a home party. Wow! I am continuously humbled by the generosity of others throughout our adoption process. So, I am hosting a Signature Homestyles Party at our house on 9/8 at 2:00pm. If you live nearby, you are invited to attend and spend a couple of hours socializing. Even though this is a fundraiser, there is no obligation to buy if you come to the party. I would still love to see you! If you are unable to attend the party, but are interested in seeing what products are available you can browse the website. If you see something you like, shoot me an e-mail at steph24mohr@yahoo.com ! In order for us to get credit, you must place your order through me and not the website. Thanks a lot and happy shopping!!

http://www.signaturehomestyles.biz/TL9146

Go Tribe!!!

Jason and I went to the Cleveland Indians game last night and were so privileged to sit a few seats down from the famous Tribe "drummer!" For Tribe fans, he is a cultural icon! He has been coming to almost every home game for over 20 years and beats his drum to get the fans going. They even made a bobblehead in his honor! And, to top it all off, Kenny Lofton threw a ball from left field and nailed the drum. Now, the drummer sits in the highest row in the bleachers and was holding his drum up as a target for Kenny. Apparently, this is a little game between the two of them. Pretty cool!! It was an awesome game and we are ready for the WORLD SERIES!!! Okay, I know that is a little premature, but a girl can dream, right??!!

Best Buddies

We were a bit worried about leaving our furry baby, Porter, for an entire week. The few days leading up to our departure were a bit stressful for him. He just knew something was not right! Everytime we left to run an errand, even for 30 minutes, he chewed something while we were gone. We just knew that our house was going to be a disaster if he was home alone for too long after we left. Well, Greg and Chris generously offered to have Porter stay at their house for at least a couple days of our trip. Well, they became so smitten with him, they decided to keep him the whole week! And, Porter and Chloe (Greg & Chris's dog) became best buds!! Aren't they cute?!

The Million Dollar Question - STILL!!

First of all, we want to thank all of you for your amazing support through every step of our journey. Your posts and comments mean so much to us and they help lift us up. For all of you lurkers, we know you're out there!! Thanks to you, too (though, a comment here and there would be nice. hint hint)!

The question everyone is asking us now that we have returned from our trip.......

When is Eli coming home???

Oh, we certainly wish we knew the answer or, for that matter, any answer. But, alas, we don't. That is the most difficult thing about Guatemalan adoptions: they are UNPREDICTABLE. We are still hoping that Eli will be home by Christmas, but that is only if our case is approved quickly. We still have many hoops to jump through. It certainly is possible for him to be home by Christmas, but we are also trying to prepare ourselves for longer.

At this point, we are waiting for the US Embassy to issue preapproval for Eli's visa and for approval from the Guatemalan Family Court. We should be receiving preapproval ANY day now. And, for all we know, we may be out of Family Court already and our attorney has just not updated the agency.

So, we wait and wait and wait......sigh. We sure miss our little pea.

I know we have not really posted many details of our trip. It is one of those experiences that is hard to put into words. Plus, it has been a pretty emotional week leaving Eli, coming home to a natural disaster, and adjusting back to everyday life. We'll get to it, maybe. :)

Reflecting on our visit

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Buenos Dias, Eli

Meet Our Little Pea!!

Opening the heart

"We carry around in our heads these pictures of what our lives are supposed to look like, painted by the brush of our intentions. It's the great, deep secret of humanity that in the end none of our lives look the way we thought they would. As much as we wish to believe otherwise, most of life is a reaction to circumstances."

I am inspired by this quote posted by my FTIA friend, Nicole. This quote is from a book called The Sunflower by Richard Paul Evans. This quote is a true reflection of our journey to parenthood and, really, life in general. When we decided we were ready to start a family, we both just assumed that it would come easily like most people. I certainly had an image in my mind of what I thought our family would look like and simply assumed that is how it would happen. I clung to that image for a long time and part of my journey was to learn to let go of those images and expectations. Consequently, I felt stuck for so long. Dealing with infertility was probably one of the most painful experiences of my life. During that time, I really struggled with the idea of never experiencing pregnancy and giving birth. It was simply one of those life experiences that I always dreamed of having and that intention was driving our journey at that time. It was a struggle to let go, but I slowly discovered that my dream and my intention was bigger than that. It was not about being pregnant and giving birth, my intention was to be a parent and to bring a child into our lives. This was a huge shift for me and little by little my heart began to open to other possibilities. Once we made the decision to pursue adoption, it was like the world opened up. Suddenly, our lives were once again filled with hope and possibility. A year ago, I never could imagine being grateful for our infertility struggles, but now I am because it led us to Eli.

National News!!

Wow! Findlay made the national news and has been declared a disaster area. It is unbelievable. My sister and her family were finally able to get back to their house yesterday and we all expected the worst because their street was literally a lake. But, their house is DRY!!! It is a miracle. There are houses next to them that are completely flooded. We are all so relieved and grateful.

My brother and Chris ended up with about 4-5 feet of water in their basement. At one point they had 4 or 5 pumps going and it just wasn't enough to stop the water from rising. Fortunately, the water did not reach their main living area, but they still lost much. My brother works from home and his office was in the basement. They also lost their furnace, water heater, and many other personal items. Please keep them in your thoughts.

The devastion is just heartbreaking and so many people have lost everything they own.

Here are some additional pictures of the flooding in Findlay.

http://sidelinephotos.phanfare.com/slideshow.aspx?username=sidelinephotos&album_id=389129&section_id=-1

Mi corazon esta in Guatemala (My heart is in Guatemala)

We're back. Our hearts are full of joy for the precious moments we spent with Eli, but they are also very heavy with sadness. Handing Eli back to his foster mom was probably the hardest thing we have ever had to do. Even so, we treasure every single moment we had with him and it is worth every tear. And trust me, there have been many tears!! We will post more about our trip later.

In the meantime, we flew by the backside of Hurricane Dean yesterday and came home to the worst flooding our town has experienced in 100 years. It is just devastating. My sister's family had to be rescued from their home by boat and my brother's home is also flooded. We are sooooo extremely lucky in that we only have a little bit of water in our basement. The Blanchard River has not even crested yet and more rain is forecasted through Saturday. The governor of Ohio is currently in Findlay assessing the damage. Please keep everyone in your thoughts. Here are some pictures:

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/slideShow?section=local&id=5593267&slide=1

Pictures speak a thousand words

We thought we knew what love was.......

We made it!!!

We're here!!!!! Brief update: our trip was uneventful. Meeting Eli was probably the most incredible moment of our lives. We have fallen madly in love!! He is just perfect!! His foster mother is wonderful and we can tell she loves him dearly. We are so blessed in so many ways. The hotel staff are AWESOME and have already made our stay soo much more comfortable. There are so many other adoptive families here so we are certainly not alone! Our first night was a little rough as Eli tried to figure out what the heck was going on. He fussed until about 2:30am, when he finally fell asleep until about 8:00am. By the time he fell asleep, we had already been up 24 hours! Needless to say, we were a bit tired and feeling very initiated! I need to get back to my boy, so that is it for now! This is certainly an adventure of a lifetime! Here are some pics! Enjoy!

A Changed Man

Over the past few days, I have realized how the idea of becoming Eli's father has changed me. I already feel responsible for Eli's well-being, and I haven't even met him yet. I find myself wanting to be a better man. I want to be a positive role-model for my son. Over the past few months, I find myself more outgoing, caring, empathic, and generous. I now expect more of myself in all aspects of my life because of Eli. Everything we have experienced so far has transformed the man I was into a better "me." I now feel a stronger urge to be a better husband, a better teacher, a better uncle, a better son and brother, and a better everything.

I sense this is a part of the unspoken glamorous side of fatherhood . . . that and simply spending time with your children. You are provided a nudge from the universe into the deeper regions of yourself and asked to explore and examine what needs changing in your life to become a better human being in this world in order to nuture your son or daughter into a positive force in our world. You damn well better make the best of the opportunity because you only get so many nudging like this in life. I hope I don't squander my nudge.

Then and Now

THEN

Here I am in 1994 packed for my 3 month trip to Central America, which included 6 weeks in Guatemala.

NOW

Here we are packed and ready to go meet our son in Guatemala. Jason and I had just started dating right before I left on my trip in 1994. He was constantly on my mind during that trip as our relationship had just started to develop. Consequently, I felt like Jason was with me during that experience. After my trip in 1994, I always felt like I had left a piece of my heart in Guatemala and I knew I had to go back someday with Jason. It was such an inexplicable feeling. But, now I understand and Jason and I are finally going to Guatemala to find that missing piece.

Our trip officially starts Monday night. We will be staying overnight in Detroit and flying out on Tuesday at 6:50am. After a layover in Miami, we are expected to arrive in Guatemala City at 12:35pm.

Our next post will be from Guatemala with Eli in our arms! Stay tuned and we will see you on the flip side.

The "Dry Run"

So, Jason thought it would be a great idea to do a "dry run" packing Eli's suitcase. We have so much stuff for Eli and Jason was very concerned that it was not all going to fit. Now, this is the big difference between me and Jason. He prepares ahead, I procrastinate. If it weren't for Jason, I probably would not start packing until about a hour before we are scheduled to leave. I would be okay with that, but he would be very stressed out!! So, it was better for the both of us to do the "dry run." Ha!

So, part of the "dry run" included going through all of the toys we have acquired for Eli to determine what we should take and what should stay home. It was quite a night just trying to figure out all the new toys. Oh, the adventures of new parents! One toy was particularly confusing, but Jason's creativity and ingenuity prevailed. I think we will get through this new parent thing just fine!

We also recently purchased our very first video camera and, of course, we had to try it out!! So, enjoy our fumbling towards parenthood and our very first movie!! OH, REMEMBER TO HIT PAUSE ON THE SONG ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THE BLOG RIGHT UNDER "LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL." (This is primarily for my sister's benefit. hee hee)

MUY GRANDE!!

Thanks to our WONDERFUL FRIEND, Mindy, we received an update from Eli's foster mom yesterday. We were able to do a 3-way call so we could hear the foster mom's voice and ask lots of questions! Oh, we also heard a baby in the background cooing, but just briefly. We are assuming it was Our Little Pea showing off for his parents. :)

Eli's foster mom informed us that Eli now weighs 16.8lbs!!!! At the end of June he weighed 10lbs. It sounds like we have a little butterball on our hands! Soon to be IN OUR ARMS (YEA!!). Eli's foster mom also bragged about how smart and alert he is. He loves music, noises, and being around people. We also learned that he shares a crib with his foster sister and they really enjoy one another. Apparently, they make each other laugh and giggle before going to sleep. Too cute. Oh, he is sleeping through the night! Of course, we know not to expect that when he is with us since everything will be so new. We are also sure that he will be sleeping with us since he is not used to sleeping alone. That's okay. We'll take all the snuggle time we can get!

We can't wait!!!!

Sappy Stuff

Okay, I am a sucker for anything sappy: songs, commercials, cards, etc. This one scores a 10 on the sap scale and always gets the tears going! This is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman about adoption. He and his wife adopted from China. Oh, you will need to pause the song on the right hand side in order to listen to this. Get some kleenex and enjoy!

Gordito

We received updated measurements this week, but they were taken at the end of June.

weight: 10 lbs
length: 22 inches
head circumference: 15 inches

He seems to be gaining 1.5 - 2.0 lbs per month. At least we do not have to worry about whether or not he is eating well!