Over the past few days, I have realized how the idea of becoming Eli's father has changed me. I already feel responsible for Eli's well-being, and I haven't even met him yet. I find myself wanting to be a better man. I want to be a positive role-model for my son. Over the past few months, I find myself more outgoing, caring, empathic, and generous. I now expect more of myself in all aspects of my life because of Eli. Everything we have experienced so far has transformed the man I was into a better "me." I now feel a stronger urge to be a better husband, a better teacher, a better uncle, a better son and brother, and a better everything.
I sense this is a part of the unspoken glamorous side of fatherhood . . . that and simply spending time with your children. You are provided a nudge from the universe into the deeper regions of yourself and asked to explore and examine what needs changing in your life to become a better human being in this world in order to nuture your son or daughter into a positive force in our world. You damn well better make the best of the opportunity because you only get so many nudging like this in life. I hope I don't squander my nudge.