Sunday, December 26, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
We also received more information about pea's birth family.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I LOVE it!!! What a huge difference, eh?!?! Who wants to come over for dinner? :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
1. I am trying to accept that "mommy guilt" is just an innate part of being a mom. I definitely struggle with this, though it ebbs and flows. At the same time, it is also a measure for me. When the guilt starts growing, I know it's time to slow down and prioritize. I just try to remind myself that I can choose to allow the guilt to eat at me or I can choose to use it as a guide to shift gears a little.
2. Pea has started showing an interest in watching Scooby Doo lately, which means straying from Nick Jr. Which means...COMMERCIALS. I.HATE.COMMERCIALS. Thanks to commercials, pea thinks he needs a cotton candy maker. We try to stick to watching shows on the DVR so we can skip through the commercials, but that doesn't always work out. And, yes, I shamefully admit we have been watching waaaay too much TV lately.
3. A few weeks ago, I volunteered at Challenge Day at our local high school. It was amazing. Every high school should do this. If your high school participates in Challenge Day, it is sooo worth being a volunteer. Check it out HERE. I spent 6 hours with 16 and 17 year old kids grappling with some really tough issues and I was blown away by their courage, resiliency, compassion, and willingness to take a stand. It was awesome and I learned so much from them.
4. A few months ago, pea started chewing his fingernails. Not sure why. I then discovered that he was also chewing his toenails. Gross, right? I have not trimmed his toenails or fingernails in months! I learned that he chews his toenails in bed before he falls asleep. Every time I would ask him why he chews his nails, he just shrugged his shoulders so I let it go. The other night I decided to ask him again and he told me he chews them to "get the bugs off." Yes, he thinks he has bugs on his nails and he needs to chew them off.
5. I really hate the "rivalry" between moms who stay-at-home and moms who work outside of the home. I really, really hate it. You all know what I am talking about. We are all doing the best we can so why does it need to be this way? We need to support one another, regardless of our situation.
6. I have learned that you absolutely cannot reason with a screaming, out-of-control child. If fact, saying anything is enough to escalate the situation. Deep breaths. Wait it out. Be there to give hugs when the time is right.
7. Never place a mug of coffee on top of an icy car roof. It inevitably leads to a very cranky morning.
8. I have truly been amazed with myself at how patient and calm I have been waiting for "the call." Seriously!! Of course, I have had a few anxious moments, but they are usually fleeting. I assumed I would be a crazy, anxious, stressed out mess waiting, but I know the call will come at the most perfect time and I feel freakishly calm...most of the time. :)
How was your November? Check out more monthly wrap-ups HERE.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Check out more Perfect Moment Monday HERE.
Friday, November 19, 2010
( I am also so in love with this beautiful Japanese Maple!)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Have you checked out Write Mind Open Heart (formally Webbles Wobblog)? She rocks! Every Monday she hosts Perfect Moment Monday. It is about noticing a perfect moment, not creating one. My sister often talks about Perfect Moments so I was immediately drawn to this idea. And, after losing my patience too many times over the weekend to a very bossy pea, it helped me to step back and find a perfect moment in the midst of some not-so-perfect moments!
I LOVE popcorn!! I especially love popcorn cooked on the stove and drizzled in real butter. YUM! That is a rare guilty pleasure as I usually just indulge in the generic microwave variety. Pea also looooooves popcorn and gets so excited he literally bounces around the kitchen as the popcorn pops. The other night I got out two little bowls for our popcorn and pea suddenly stopped jumping and ran over to me. He grabbed one really big bowl and said, "Let's share out of this bowl, mommy."
We then snuggled on the couch under a blanket with our big bowl of popcorn and watched Dino Dan (pea's newest obsession). Pea then gave me a big hug and said, "I love sharing popcorn with you mommy! This is the best!"
Definitely a perfect moment!
Check out more Perfect Moments HERE and link up to share your own Perfect Moment!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Over the past month I have learned...
- My husband is incredibly handy! He has worked so hard on our house and I am amazed at how much he can do! I remember back when we were buying our first house and he was so nervous about being able to take care of things. Well, he is awesome!
- I have also discovered that my hubby does so much more for our family than what I often give him credit. That is very humbling for me.
- Over the past month, I have really grown to loathe dinner time. Mind you, I love to cook so it is not that. It is the end of the day transition...everyone (eh hem...Pea) is tired, grumpy, and hungry. Predinner time is also known as the witching hour in our house when the little monster emerges. Once dinner is on the table, then I hear "I don't like that. I want something else." Now, pea eats about ANYTHING. I believe this is more about a 3 year old trying to assert some control! It's just a phase, right?!
- Unfortunately, I have discovered that stress has wreaked havoc on my teeth. During pea's adoption process, I started experiencing a lot of jaw and tooth pain. Come to discover I had started grinding my teeth at night. Now I wear a bite splint every night and it makes a huge difference. But, the damage had already been done and my tooth is now cracked. It's a crown for me. Sheez.
- I am constantly amazed at pea's memory. He has this ability to randomly pull out memories of things that happened ONE TIME months and months ago. I have no idea how he does this when I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday. He only needs to see or hear something once and he will remember. Sometimes they are not things I want him to remember...for example, today he mentioned the time I hit a mailbox when we were parking at a garage sale. This happened MONTHS ago! I nicked a mailbox with my mirror and all I said was "OOPS! I hit that mailbox." We never talked about it again until this morning. How does he remember this stuff?!
- Over the past month, I have been reminded that I work with some pretty amazing people who are some of my best friends.
- My dad received a prestigious distinguished alumni award last month from his Alma mater and I was so proud. I learned all over again that my dad is amazing. I love you, dad!
What have you learned this month? Check out more month in reviews HERE.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Another fav activity is playing in the yard. Pea decided that using the tee to hit the ball is just too boring. In fact, he is actually pretty good at hitting a pitched ball! He is much better at hitting that I am at pitching!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Ya know, I really debated over the new name and felt like it needed to be something really deep and meaningful, but nothing felt right. And, to be honest, I just couldn't give up "pea!" So, what pairs perfectly with peas??? Carrots, of course! A perfect pair with their own unique little qualities. I think it's perfect.
As you will notice, I also couldn't leave everything behind so I just moved all of my previous posts to our new little piece of the blogosphere.
Hang in with me as I get settled in our new home and do some organizing and cleaning. In the meantime, make sure you don't miss any other BIG announcements by
Friday, October 29, 2010
We are very lucky to have a few pictures of pea's birth mother. I look at her picture and I can see my son through her eyes. I often wonder if his siblings have the same eyes, the same mannerisms, and the same little quirks that make my heart smile. Perhaps one day, pea will be able to see a reflection of himself through his birth family. But, until that time, we just hold on tight to what we do have.
With that said, however, I can definitely see how a lack of information and connection can lead to the development of fantasies about birth families. I even find myself doing it. With no information, we create the story and image that feels the most comforting. So, how do we develop "realistic" images of birth families that we do not know? And, most importantly, how do we help our children do this as well?
How do you try to "fill the gaps" without creating a fantasy image of birth families? And, how do you do it in a way that is validating? As pea starts to ask more questions (specifically, why? why? why?), I sometimes find myself stumbling around trying to answer his questions in simple terms, but I struggle at times! I would love to hear your approach and any tips for having these conversations with your little ones.
Friday, October 22, 2010
The pumpkin fest started a couple weeks ago...
Pea probably would have taken home every pumpkin in the patch. This is his "cheese" smile.
Posing with Mr. Pumpkinhead
Halloween also started tonight for us with a super fun Halloween party! My mom's group put on a really great Halloween party for all the kiddos and pea had so much fun. They played pin the nose on the witch, climbed in and out of tunnels, played tag, and went trick or treating in the "spooky" hallway. Pea especially enjoyed being on stage putting on his "show." He is definitely a little ham sometimes and knows how to milk it! Here is his little spidey pose before "spinning" into his dance routine.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Even so, domestic adoption still made me uneasy. There are so many misconceptions about adoption and about the women who make an adoption plan and I am sure that fueled some of my fears. I also felt very nervous about the idea of an open adoption. Would that somehow undermine my role as mom? Would it be too confusing? Too complicated? Too messy? What if she changes her mind? etc, etc, etc. It certainly is A LOT to think about and requires much soul searching. And, it is extremely important to explore these fears and concerns before moving forward.
But, now that I am a mom, an adoptive mom, and a mom in a multiracial family, my perspective has completely shifted and I am not scared at all. I realize that many of my previous fears were very self-centered, but that is because I did not have any other experiences to draw from. Now I know that it is not all about me. Why would I NOT want my child to know his/her birth family, to have answers, information, someone to resemble, and, most importanly, more love? Yes, it could be messy and complicated, but...aren't all families? One of the greatest gifts I can give my children is an open heart - open to the fact that each of my children has a family and a cultural history completely different than my own. It is part of who they are. I am certainly not naive to think it won't sometimes feel uncomfortable or be difficult, but navigating those waters is my responsibility as a parent.
We have no idea what the next phone call will bring. We have no idea what our relationship with the birth family will look like. What we do know is that our family will grow in ways we probably do not expect! It is very exciting. Of course, we are nervous, but our hearts are wide open and we are ready.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Baby's room BEFORE. Lovely calico carpet!
Just before the floor sanding commenced.
AFTER!!! What a difference
Ready to personalize for baby! We took the shutters off in order to paint them white. My brother is also in the process of recovering the cushion on the glider and ottoman.
Pea LOVES going into the baby's room. After the furniture was moved into the room, Pea announced he wanted to see the baby's room. He ran in and said "Awwwwww...this is a cute baby room! I love it!' Last week Pea went into the baby's room and said "maybe the baby is in here now."
Pea also asked me last week when we were going to Guatemala to get his baby brother. Yes, now he thinks he is getting a brother. I explained that the baby was not going to be born in Guatemala and he seemed very perplexed because, after all, aren't all babies born in Guatemala? :)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Happy face...so sweet!
Awwww...the sad face.
Mad face...he was trying really hard not to laugh so this is not really a true reflection of his mad face. Actually, his mad face is a full body experience.
Excited! This is the silly kind of excited.
He called this is "ferocious" face. I love the half chewed candy corn in his mouth!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
First of all, here she is!! We have done NOTHING outside so we are surrounded by a jungle right now. As you can see, there is a strip of grassless yard in the front...one week before our closing the water company discovered a leak in the main water line. The previous owners had it repaired right away and paid for it! We were so lucky! Plus, the initial plan was to tear up the driveway, but thank goodness they found a way around that.
Pea's room BEFORE. Lavendar walls and lovely purple carpet! You can see the "after" in my previous post. We ripped out the carpet and had the hardwood floor refinished. We painted the walls and the woodwork. My brother is also currently working on some super duper cute valances for pea's room and I can't wait to see them! You may remember that he also made pea's crib skirt and a matching valance. We are reusing those in the baby's room.
Our lovely, lovely dining room...BEFORE! There were three layers of wallpaper, ugly paneling, and hideous carpet. We ripped out the carpet and had the hardwood floor refinished. It is BEAUTIFUL! We took down the paneling and all of the wallpaper. Painted the ceiling (including the beams), walls, and woodwork. Then, my brother worked his magic, yet again, by designing and installing the custom wainscotting. He is a genius. Seriously! He and my brother-in-law can do absolutely ANYTHING house related from custom window treatments to major renovations. They have been more than generous with their time in helping us with some of our projects. Oh, and the wall to the right will eventually be opened up into the kitchen. AFTER...we still need to paint the wainscotting (white), but it is already a huge improvement! (don't worry, the curtains are gone!)
There is still a lot of work to be done, but we are slowly making it OUR home. It really is a great feeling! Yes, the work really sucks and we are a little tired of it, but we have a lot of the major stuff done for now so we can slow down for awhile, especially when the baby arrives. By the way, the nursery is painted, the crib is ready, itty bitty onesies and sleepers are in the dresser...all patiently waiting.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Next is the baby's room! We will be painting that room this weekend and we have to get it set up ASAP because....we are officially APPROVED! Woohoo!!!! So, that means we could get a call any any time and that call could be "can you be at the _____(fill in the blank) hospital in 24 hours" or we could get a call to be matched with a birth mother due in 8-10 weeks. According to our adoption coordinator, there is a high probability we could receive the first kind of call so we have to be prepared. This process has been so completely different so it is a little hard for us to wrap our minds around everything! One question a lot of people have been asking us is if we can choose the gender of the baby and the answer is no. So it will be a big surprise! How fun is that?! Pea is convinced he is getting a sister...time will tell! Nothing like "jumping" right in with no idea what that next phone call will bring!
See more FFF posts at Hannah's blog HERE.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Painting the living room.
Three layers of beautiful wallpaper in our dining room. (There were four layers in the upstairs hallway!)
In spite of all the work, there has still been some time for play! Pea loves his new backyard. Our yard is MUCH smaller than our previous yard so that has been a little adjustment, but we love it. Oh, the bike in the pool is what happens when daddy is in charge. :)
At the kids fest.
The highlight of our week....meeting PABLO!!!! I made the "mistake" of mentioning to pea that Pablo was coming to town and he asked about it several times a day, every day, for two weeks.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
So, the next few weeks, months, years...will be spent working on our house. Even so, we LOVE it and we are going to be here a long time. Seriously. I am never moving again.
If you've got nothing to do this weekend, bring your scrapper and paint roller and come on over!