Happy 11 months!!!

mmmmmm...yummmmy teething biscuit

Can you believe it? Little pea is 11 months old!! Wow! Only a few more days, sweet pea.....


We really don't have anything to report. Still waiting...tick tock...tick tock...sigh...


I haven't posted much over the last week or so because, well, I really don't have much to say! Same old, same old...tired of waiting...aching for Eli to come home...anxious we may get kicked out again...blah, blah, blah. I am tired of "wow, I don't know how you guys do it," "why is it taking so long," "why can't you just go down and get him," and my favorite. "hang in there." I know people have the greatest intentions and, at this point, nobody even knows what to say anymore. I think we are all out of words. But, that's okay. No words are needed. We know we are surrounded by love and hope. We know on the days that we feel very low, many of you are holding up that hope for us.

But, honestly, I am really tired of myself right now!!! Can I take a vacation from myself?? I have been in such a fog the last couple of weeks. Numb is not really the right word, but it is the only one that comes to mind. I certainly don't feel "numb," yet I feel like I am just going through the motions of everyday life right now, very disconnected. My newest skill, or more like a symptom, is the ability to completely tune out everything that is going on around me with the flip of a switch. There could be 20 people in my office talking all at once and there are times I would not even notice. Pretty scary, eh? I think I am just feeling so worn out by this process, that I am turning into a zombie. I know it will pass and it is simply a coping method, but I am so ready to be DONE. There certainly is the possibility of being kicked out of PGN again and that thought makes me nauseous. But, there is nothing we can do at this point except wait and hold on tight to hope. I know this time waiting will pale in comparison to a lifetime with Eli. I know that one of these days, I will be begging for time to slow down. But, right now, this time waiting for Eli feels like an eternity!