The other night pea and I were reading an adoption story before bedtime. We talked about being different and how his skin is like creamy hot chocolate and mommy's is like a fluffy marshmallow. We laughed as we came up with various descriptions for our skin, eyes, and hair. Then, Pea asked,
"Why are people adopted?"
We talked about how some people are not able to take care of a baby for various reasons. We looked at a picture of his birth mother and talked about how he grew in her tummy. He then snuggled up to me and said,
"I don't want to be adopted again."
My heart instantly ached as I was reminded, again, of the loss my little boy has already experienced in his life and that the fear he may have that it could happen again. It was a reminder that love, as we often know it, is not enough and that attachment is not a one time event for adoptive families. It is a process that ebbs and flows throughout life and presents new challenges with each developmental stage.
This perfect moment presented itself in a seemingly imperfect way, but that is often where we find the most precious things! I squeezed pea extra tight that night and we snuggled a little longer than usual knowing these are the moments that help bond us together. And, whatever adoption issues come our way over the years, we will navigate through them together.
Check out more Perfect Moment Monday HERE.
I guess what gets me through is knowing that for every moment like this they have, I at least hope that they have that many more where they feel safe. Poor Pea! Glad you soaked in some extra snuggles, or "nuggles" as we call them here
ReplyDeleteYou have been a busy little blogger.Enjoyed all your little moments........popcorn to appreciating your husband more:>) One we all are guilty of.
So glad you are happy with your choice. Life is a road, and which ones we take when a fork comes makes us stronger, and as long as our heart is in the right place, then that is home!
Yum....chocolate and marshmallow. But I digress.
ReplyDeleteI think it's beautiful that your son trusts you so much that he can be vulnerable with you. Says a lot about you as a mom.
I think attachment is a process that ebbs and flows even in my own family, where I gave birth to my children. For me, it wasn't as instantaneous as I expected it to be.
ReplyDeleteWhich isn't to say that there aren't differences, of course. But there are also many similarities, too, I suspect.
OMG. That is so lovely and sad and joyful at the same time. *sniff* I feel like we have so much ahead of us. Right now Theo dose not even know that he was adopted! We tell him but he has no words; he's too young. Your son continues to be SO ADORABLE.
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