What a year it has been! Christmas Eve of 2006, Jason and I discussed that it would be our last Christmas as a family of two. Well, we were right! At the time, however, we assumed our little pea would be home by Christmas 2007. Instead, we spent our first Christmas together as a family of three in Guatemala. This year has certainly taught us a lot about assumptions and expectations: never assume and let go of any and all expectations. Much easier said than done! This past year has probably been one of the most exciting and one of the most difficult times of our lives. As hard as this process has been, it has also been full of pure love and joy. We have been so blessed by this precious little boy and we have been wrapped in the love and support of family, old friends, new friends we have met along the way, and complete strangers. I am completely amazed at how much our lives have changed as a result of this journey.
In the meantime, we continue to wait. Waiting is so hard. Waiting is so hard when there seems to be so much movement around us while we are stuck in this blackhole called PGN and with so much uncertainty still surrounding Guatemalan adoptions. This process is terribly unfair sometimes. Yes, I am feeling some pity tonight while also desperately trying to hold onto faith that there is a greater plan at work that I have yet to see or understand. Tonight I miss my little boy terribly; it is so excrutiatingly hard handing him back to his foster mom not knowing when we will be back to bring him home. There are no words to describe that experience. Even so, I would go back to Guatemala tomorrow and do it all over again to have those precious moments with Eli. So, as I wait and as I bask in a little pity tonight, I do find comfort and joy in the amazing week we had with Eli. Simply incredible and worth every tear saying goodbye.