Sunday, June 1, 2008

He's back!!!

What a week!! Eli started off the week with Roseola and some major teething (back molars) and then the grieving started. We initally attributed it to his illness and not feeling well, but I think being sick may have helped bring out his grief. We all want comfort and familiarity when sick and Eli has lost everything that is familiar and comfortable. Everything. I can't imagine how stressful and scary that must be. There were several episodes in which Eli would just start crying/screaming/waling uncontrollably and there was nothing I could do to comfort him. He screamed for me to hold him, but then he would push me away. If I put him down, he would start screaming even more. Oh, it was just heartbreaking and I felt so helpless.

He also had several very restless nights of sleep. It was like he just could not get comfortable and he rolled all over the bed all night. There was one night I basically held onto his arm or foot all night to keep him from rolling off the bed. I tried putting him in the pack-n-play, but he screamed! So, he rolled and I hung on tight! Needless to say, neither one of us got much sleep! For several days, Eli also woke up crying in the mornings and from his naps. He has also been especially clingy with me. I can't even go to the bathroom without him crying or searching me out. If I close the door, he stands outside the door and whines. Right now, he needs a lot of comfort and closeness.

But, we had a big shift Friday night. He went to bed pretty early and started the night sleeping on my lap. He fell asleep very quickly and did not stir at all even when we took him to bed. He was conked out! We had not seen this in several days. We all slept very soundly until the tornado sirens woke us up in the middle of the night! Of all nights, the sirens go off when all three of us are finally getting some sleep. (thank goodness we were safe, though) We all went down to the basement and Eli just played, smiled, and laughed. I couldn't believe it! We were back in bed within an hour and none of us stirred until morning. Eli woke up Saturday morning smiling and laughing and was in such a wonderful mood all day. Oh, were we relieved to see that sweet smile again. He was so cute and funny all day. And, he again woke up this morning smiling and laughing.

I am sure we have not completely seen the end of his grief, but I hope we are past the worst of it. As hard as it is to see him go through this, I am actually very relieved. He needs to grieve. He lost his first family and everything that is safe and familiar. And, it also allows him to become more emotionally attached to us as we get through this together. We see him opening up to us more and more each day. I would be kidding myself if I said this was easy. It's not! It is so hard to watch him cry and scream and to not be able to ease his distress. And, it is so hard doubting and wondering if we are handling it the "right" way. But, when I watched Eli wrap his arms tightly around his daddy's neck last night with a huge smile on his face, I knew we must be doing something right.

Kickin' back as he got a ride around the house in the laundry basket.
He loves to swing! The higher the better!
Awww...his smile is back!! Look at those adorable rosie cheeks! I think he broke into a sweat bouncing on the couch.
"Hello? Who's there?" Eli LOVES to pretend everything is a phone. This happens to be the TV remote.


  1. YAY! Sleep! Take it when you can get it!!!

    I can't believe you had tornando sirens... crazy! But, so glad it wasn't a real danger! Gosh!

    Lucy sometimes does that same thing where she cries for me and then pushes me away... but, the fact that they want us is such a positive sign of attachment, right?

    I love the pics. Hey Eli... call me!

  2. Oh, Steph, what a week!! So sorry this happened to you. You are right,though, he needed to get it out. Let's hope he is rounding that corner now. It sounds as if this is the case.

    I can't imagine how tough this transition has been for you all. I know you are so happy to have him, but it is tough to take on no sleep!! I am glad that you posted this. Everyone knows that none of this is all roses.

    That boys smile could make anyone melt. And, his little arms around Daddy! AWWWWHHHH!!!

    Hope this week goes much better. OH, and for almost 10 years I haven't gone to the bathroom alone, so good luck with that one!!

  3. Awww - such rough times! Sounds like you did a very good job as parents (as always!) hanlding/meeting his needs. So tough, though.

    A and L did that for a few weeks (on and off) right after coming home last year. The screaming and the pushing, but just like you said, afterwards...we were all so much closer.

    I adore the laundry basket picture - love the outfit,love the boy - OH - such a cutie!!

  4. So glad to hear Eli is feeling better. Hope he is past the worst of his grieving.

  5. Love the pictures ! Courtney

  6. It is such an adjustment but hopefully it is all over now. Just keep reassuriing him and you all will be getting sleep :) Glad to see his cute smile!

  7. Poor little guy! And poor you too! That is so hard, I remember it well and dread having to go through it again. The good news is it will pass and it will be like Eli has always been with you. I hope the worst of it is over! I am thinking of you! That laundry basket pic is adorable!